Where in the World is Polly Allen?

* Apologies for the very late updates; I have been writing them as I go but had some problems with internet connectivity in Siem Riep, and some problems with extreme laziness once we got to Ko Chang in Thailand.

We had a great Chrismas in Siem Riep, exploring the temples and dining on Cambodian BBQ for Christmas dinner, including crocodile and snake! Click on the picture above to view the photo albums online.

“MAC..DON…ALDS” I repeat, slowly, miming the familiar arches with my fingers.  Sunny, our tuk-tuk driver, is completely befuddled.  “It’s an American restaurant? Hamburgers?” I say hopefully. Sunny really wants to help us.  He offers to take us to a street that has American restaurants.  We finally admit to ourselves that this is probably as close as it gets.  After several loooooong days of bus travel, and a few days in remote, beautifully laid back  Si Phan Don (“Four Thousand Islands”) at the Laos/Cambodia border, we had hoped for some familiar comfort food.  Especially after we’d realized that there was no ATMs in Si Phan Don, and we hadn’t brought that much money with us -  leading to some tight budgeting and shared meals of whatever the cheapest thing on offer was – usually rice and vegetables.  Once we’d found some dinner and were reflecting on our day in Phnom Pehn, we agreed that the incredible part of the story wasn’t that there aren’t any Mickey D’s in the capitol city – it was that we had met someone that day, our friendly driver, who had never even HEARD of it before.

While the familiar comforts of home are not as readily available in Phnom Pehn as they are in Bangkok, the people here have an innocence and charm that is truly disarming.  This isn’t a comfortable city. It’s dirty and garbage-strewn in many parts, it feels dodgy almost everywhere at night, and the poverty of the place confronts you continually.  But it’s still one of my favorite spots so far, maybe because it has the greatest mix of interesting sights, maybe because you have to have respect for the people here, who have suffered through so much, but can continue to be kind, open, friendly.  The people here would rather sell you something, or work for you, than beg: can you blame them if they get a little aggressive and hassle you more than you’d like? Can you blame the land mine victims for asking for money at tourist sites, when you know that there are very few other support systems for them, when you know how much more a dollar will buy for them than it will for you? The hardest part about Phenom Pehn is that the people are deeply loveable – and you can’t help them all.

We saw most of the tourists sights on offer here in one day. (I’ll be referring to doing all the sights in one city as quickly as possible as “Phnom Pehnning it” for the rest of my blog, by the way.)  The S21 Prison, where the Khmer Rouge regime carried out brutal atrocities against the Cambodian people, is pretty much the most harrowing thing I hope I ever see, but I can see why it’s essential to keep the museum as a reminder of what we are capable of doing, as a species.  It made the visit to the killing fields outside of town, mass graves where the bodies of the prisoners were dumped, that much more affecting. We were glad to move on to lighter fare in the afternoon, checking out the Royal Palace, with the stunning Silver Pagoda, and the National Museum that contains many of the treasures rescued from the famous Angkor temples, where many statues have been looted or stolen.

We even managed to find a second wind that night and go out on the town with some new-found friends from the UK! A newly-opened restaurant/bar/karaoke club on the bank of the Boeung Kak lake, near our guest house, called “Nick” (yep, just “Nick”) was beautifully set up, with low tables and lounging pillows. They offered movies for travelers to watch; karaoke downstairs; a full cheap dinner and drinks menu; and they were completely empty.  This has been an ongoing phenomenon on our trip: everywhere seems set up for about 50-80% more people than the number that are here. I don’t know if it’s the economic crisis or the disruption of the Bangkok airport, but it always seems like there are fewer tourists than there’s supposed to be, wherever you go; and you can tell the businesses here are starting to feel the pinch.  In any case, we were fawned over and visited by the staff all night, and as we left they even gave us Christmas cards signed from the owner! I couldn’t help but think that this kind of genuine, personal touch is the kind of thing people hope they’ll find in the tourist resorts in Thailand, and usually end up disappointed.  It’s nice to know, if you’re willing to go further afield and put up with a bit of discomfort, it’s still out there waiting for you.

We took an overnight bus, which wasn’t very wise
And the beds were really too short, like some torture you’d devise
When we found upon arrival someone’d rifled through our stuff
We hadn’t slept a wink and so we didn’t call their bluff.

Tired and exhausted, took the first room we could find
To say it was disgusting is being rather kind
From the bugs inside the bathroom to goop dripping down the walls,
To the ‘Hello Kitty’ bedsheets – you would have been appalled.

The only sight in Pakxe is a big cement hotel
Where a prince once kept his harem (t’was a palace, so they tell)
When we’d wandered the whole city, with it’s dusty greyish hue
We went back to our hotel room – ’cause there’s nothing else to do.

You could sail up to the arctic, where it hits sixty below
And be thrown into the water, and pulled down by undertow
You’d sink frozen to the bottom, your complexion pale and waxy
But it wouldn’t be the worst thing – ’cause you wouldn’t be in Pakxe.

I really don’t miss rules.

It takes a trip to foreign territory to make one realize how regulated things have become at home. And while rules ensure safety, respect for people’s rights, yada yada, you have to admit, they can sometimes get in the way of a little thing called “fun”.

If Laos were a country of rules, Vang Viang, about halfway between the capitol city of Vientiane and Luang Prabang (coolest name ever!), would not be allowed to exist. At every turn, very cheap alcoholic drinks are sold alongside mechanisms for drunk people to hurt themselves. You know that part of the night on the town, where something seems like the best idea ever? And then later, in retrospect, you realize that alcohol does in fact impair your judgment, and that the ‘best idea ever’ is, at best, a bad idea, and at worst, dangerous and/or potentially lethal? Vang Viang exists in that blissfully ignorant state between these two points.

Exhibit A: Drunken Yahoos Flying Off a Giant Concrete Slide Into a River of Unknown Depth

Yes, there is a river in Vang Viang, and the ‘in’ backpacker activity there is to rent a tractor tube in town and float down the river. We were a little apprehensive as we’d heard that several people have died in the last few years, combining alcohol and fast-flowing water. What we didn’t realize was that the term ‘fast-flowing water’ was an extreme, extreme exaggeration. The water flows lazily along, at a usual depth of about three feet. What cannot be exaggerated, however, is how incredibly drunk people get. Well, drunk enough to drown in three feet of barely-moving water, apparently. The shenanigans start at the first of many bars along the river, where tubers pull over for a drink or eight, while dancing to the blaring sounds of Micheal Jackson and/or Britney Spears. This bar is between 20 and 30 meters from where the tubes have been put in the water, so you can understand that a drink is required after that kind of athletic activity. You can choose to float another 20 – 30 meters to the next bar, drink, and repeat – or you can choose to stay at one bar, as many “tubers” do, and take a tuk-tuk back into town at sunset. Most choose the bar with the slide pictured above, which also has a rope-swing/bungee hybrid device you can use to launch yourself 30-40 feet into the air over the river.
Yes, the entire thing should be illegal. The copious quantities of alchohol in the ‘bucket drinks’ sold at the many bars around town, usually at less than $2, often two-for-one during happy hour, should be illegal too. But wow, was it fun.

In the end, Jack and I opted to enjoy the amazing scenery by motorbike instead of taking the tube route; we’re sure we got to see more, and remember more, that way. Incredible limestone karst formations loomed above the view of the river off our waterfront deck at the guesthouse; the ride out to some of the many caves in the area was also a heck of a lot of fun. We took the bikes out to the “Blue Lagoon” – a local swimming hole – after some cave exploration to cool off, and chilled out in hammocks at a riverside restaurant. (Incidentally, we found the very best chicken satay EVER!) The mellow vibe of the after-tubing parties at the many beach bars was really cool, as people mingled and danced around bonfires in the dark. So Vang Viang can be fun, even for those not looking to get as inebriated as possible for as little money as possible.

On our bus ride out of town, travelers shared horror stories and compared injuries: someone had seen someone break his nose or dislocate a shoulder; nearly everyone there had massive bruises of some kind. But you know what? They were all smiling.

Q: What happened? You only got to partway through your tour on your blog!
A: Sorry, I was busy doing this:

Polly Diving at King Cruiser Wreck Near Phuket

Q: I hate you now.
A: Sorry. Had to be done. It was pretty awesome.

Q: What tour was it, anyway?
A: It was through a Canadian company called GAP (“Great Adventure People”), and I recommend them fully. The description of the tour I was doing can be found here.

Q: So are you going to keep writing retroactive updates?
A: No. I’ve decided pictures are worth a thousand words, so you can catch up on the rest of the tour and my time since looking at them here. The albums include:

• One from before the tour started and one from the first day of our tour with a bicycle tour of Bankok and Thornaburi across the river

• One from our trek to visit hill tribe villages near Chang Mai in the north

• One from th ancient ruins of Ayuthaya, a UNESCO heritage site and former capital of Thailand when it was ‘Siam’. I was really tired after the night train the night before so I couldn’t absorb any of the names of the temples there – sorry! The album also includes some shots from the ‘rafthouse’ we stayed on on a resevoir lake near Kanchanaburi

• One of our cycle tour of Kanchnaburi, including the museum and memorial sites for the Death Railway, and the bridge over the river Kwai

• One from our two-night camping trip from Ao Nang (near Krabi, in the south; we flew there from Bangkok one day before the airport closed) to Bamboo Island, a small island near the Phi Phi islands

• One from Patong, and several that my dive instructor took while I took my SCUBA diving courses (a refresher of my Open Water, since it had been six years and my Advanced Open Water.) I took some of them as well; one of my Advanced dives was underwater photography.

Q: Will there be more pictures?
A: I hope so; but I broke my camera. It’s an underwater camera, and as you can tell from the pictures I took snorkeling on Bamboo Island, it was working great. My last day in Phuket I decided to do a snorkeling day trip to a nearby island, and the camera started leaking and now it won’t turn on! It’s under warranty, but I have to work that all out. If I can’t get it fixed soon, I’ll look at buying a cheap digital camera in Bangkok.

Q: So where are you now?
A: I am back in Bangkok. After ten days in Phuket, I took the bus to Khao Sok National Park, about three hours drive north. It is one of the most bio-diverse areas on the planet, and has a gorgeous lake with enormously tall, jagged limestone karsts jutting from it. On arrival there I found a lovely little guesthouse, with a supremely chilled-out restaurant/bar area playing Jack Johnson tunes and mellow reggae, complete with mood lighting, pillows on the wooden floor, and hammocks. My bungalow was a self-contained little room on stilts, almost like a treehouse, with a veranda and my own hammock. The Thai family that runs it are gorgeous and sweet and call you by your first name, arranging all the night jungle treks or daytime trips to see the lake and explore river caves that you might desire (I did both!) If you get the chance to visit, Smiley’s Guesthouse is a gem.

The next day I made my way to Ranong, a town on the Myanmar border. Many people do their ‘Visa runs’ from here, skipping out of the country by going across the river to Burma/Myanmar, and that’s what I did too. Now I can stay in Thailand another two weeks, and the whole process took three hours, thanks to the help of a lovely local taxi driver who basically led this poor farang girl about by the hand, and made sure I got back in time for my overnight bus to Bangkok.

Jack is joining me for his Christmas break from school! He arrives tomorrow, and we will hatch a plan for the next few weeks. We are thinking Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam…

Q: Are these questions really frequently-asked, or are they just some literary device?
A: I’ll let you decide that for yourself…

Nights trains in Thailand are really not that bad. The sleeping berths are comfortable and the stewards / stewardesses (and several of them were both) are paid on commission and try to ply you with relatively cheap alcohol. Here is the most flattering picture of me from the night train from Bangkok to Chang Mai, so you can guess how unflattering the rest of the pictures were:

Polly on the night train

We arrived the next morning in Chang Mai, Thailand’s second-largest city and the capital of the northern region.  Here we would spend several days trekking through forests and jungles, staying in villages of the northern hill tribe people. Many of these people are displaced from Burma/Myanmar or other regions, and are semi-nomadic tribes with no fixed address or citizenship.  They subsist by trading between themselves and growing crops, and are generally the poorest people in Thailand.

Many of the tribes grow tea to sell at markets, and we saw tea plantations on our drive up through the mountains from Chang Mai.  Our first day was spent hiking along what was either a very rough road or a marginally-drivable dried-up river bed; a lot of our drive there had been up a similar class of ‘highway’.  The scenery was beautiful, and the hike fairly easy, but we were glad to arrive at our first destination, Balo, a village of the Lahu people.  The town had built a large bamboo stilt-house for visitors, and all 14 of us piled into the one-roomed structure to lay out our beds and help with the cooking, also performed in the same room.  Several group members played outside with the village kids while others helped prepare dinner.  It was a lovely way to see the people up close and see how they live.

The next morning we set out for our first stop: a waterfall nearby! It was so picturesque, it seemed it couldn’t be real, and we took turns actually sliding down the bottom part of a waterfall like a slide. Our guides (nicknamed “Tiger”, “Sit”, “Gun” and “Best”) had prepared a delicious lunch of noodles wrapped in banana leaves, with bamboo chopsticks! It was tough to leave but we had to head out to our next destination.  We spent the next several hours on what felt like a “real” jungle hike; narrow track through creeping vines, dense brush, or even a bamboo forest! It was so diverse, even over a few short hours, and very beautiful.  Our guides had to construct impromptu bridges for us several times as we crossed the river at least four or five times – every time they re-arranged rocks, hacked bamboo with their machetes, and had something workable in no time at all!

That evening we reached a hill tribe school, near the village we’d be staying at.  Kids come from miles around and most of them stay at the school during the week as their villages are too far to trek to each day. We spent some time playing with the kids and watching them get ready for dinner; then we headed up the road to our place for the night.  The second village, Mae Mae, is home to some Shan villagers. The accommodation was much more upscale with  individual rooms for each pair of people and ‘happiness centers’ (bathrooms) with showers and flushing toilets! We enjoyed massages from the local women before dinner, and learned some Thai cooking from the gregarious Mr. Tag. After a few Chang beer many of the group were singing along to Tiger’s guitar with some well-worn hits…Hotel California will never be the same.

Our last trekking day, we headed out on what proved to be the steepest and most grueling part of the trek – luckily it didn’t last long and we were soon at another waterfall, for more bathing and playing.  A short distance from that, our trucks met us and whisked us away for a Pad Thai lunch before our last adventure for the day: elephant rides! I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves – but just so you know, it is pretty scary when something that big lurches downhill!

After checking out the famous Chang Mai night market that evening, we were certainly all ready for bed after an adventurous day. We were even more ready for the “free day” we had the next day! Several people went on tours of the local temples and craft markets, but I decided to stick closer to home with a Thai cooking lesson (SO delicious! I hope I can find the ingredients at home!) and a relaxing massage. The massage was especially needed before our second night train that night, this time to the ancient capital of Ayuthaya.

Bangkok Pictures: here and here

Chang Mai Pictures: here

“You never know what’s going to be around the next corner.”

Michal is right. During our four-hour bike tour of Bangkok, we have found every possible scene around a turn: wai-ing monks at roadside temples, back alleyways that practically pass through grinning Thais’ houses, stray mangy dogs dodging traffic with us on smog-choked streets, murky-watered canals whose placid catfish swell up in writhing mounds at the hint of food, rows of pushcarts selling delicious-smelling food. Then, the most unexpected scene of all: an actual jungle. “This area was once a coconut plantation,” explains Moon, our guide. The noise and smog of the chaotic Bangkok streets is only a few blocks away, but here, butterflies float lazily alongside us as we cycle in peace and quiet on an elevated cement walkway through palm fronds and lush greenery. Could this still be the same city?

A bike tour through Bangkok is like seeing the city in fast-forward, in a city that was already on fast-forward to begin with. My first three days here have been a whirlwind tour, where I’ve quickly adapted to, and even fallen in love with the chaos and diversity. From taking the water-taxi bus down Mae Nam Chao Praya river , to wandering the infamous Patpong streets (only in the daylight when everything’s closed, mom, I swear), to mastering the sky train and bargaining with tuk-tuk drivers, I’ve done it all. Three days in and I am showing other tourists how to get around. So allow me to present:

Polly’s Guide to Enjoying Bangkok.

1. Accept That You Will Get Ripped Off by a Cab Driver

   Do it quick, your first day there if possible, as I did, and get it over with. This way, when you agree to a $6 fare for a $3 ride at the outset, and the cabbie surprisingly has no change for your smallest bill worth $12 when you arrive, you will smile and think, “Well-played, my capitalist friend!”, take your nine dollar life lesson, and get on with enjoying your day. You will always find change before hailing a cab from now on. It’s just a lot more fun that fighting with someone for half and hour and letting nine dollars ruin your day.

2. Take Advice from the Thai People. Or Don’t.

   Thai people are always giving us farang advice. Some of the time, these are honest attempts to tell you something they think you would like to know, based on the fact that you are obviously a tourist and in the vicinity of something of interest to tourists (“the temple is back that way!”). Other times, these are honest attempts to bamboozle you, possibly for profit and possibly not (“the temple is back that way!”). I have found it is easiest to smile gently, nod your head in thanks for the advice, and continue doing what you were going to do originally until you can duck in somewhere private to check your map. Pretending not to understand English also works.

3. Soak Up the Backpacker Vibe at Khao San Road; Stay on Soi Rambutri

   Khao San Road is famous for a reason. There is nothing quite like the tingling, patchouli-scented energy of the backpacker mecca. It’s part street-market, where everything a backpacker could possibly want is on offer, and part western oasis, with English street signs and American coffee chains (with American prices – the cost of a Starbucks coffee is the same as two meals from the street food vendors.) Grab a mango smoothie and wander, listening to the mix of world languages as other tourists mingle around you.
   Nearby, Soi Rambutri offers a laid-back, leafy respite from the haggling and late-night party noise of Khao San, with lots more restaurants, guesthouses and cheap massage parlors, internet cafes, tailors and foodcarts. It’s relaxing here after a day battling the city and the smog; everything is readily available. It’s one of the places that reminds you that traveling can be easy as well as fun.

4. Escape the Backpacker Vibe with a Little Luxury

   Ready to escape the roadside curries and aggressive tuk-tuk drivers? Splurge out on what would be standard fare at home – brunch and a movie. The Hotel Oriental consistently ranks as one of the top 10 hotels in the world in many travel magazines, and with a host of literary alumni who have stayed here, a night at this hotel is reputed to cure writer’s block. Brunch indoors or out, looking over the river, and experience some of the best service you can imagine. It’s actually a joy to watch the waiters; I’ve never seen anything like it.

   Then, treat yourself right and pay a little extra to see a VIP movie at the MBK Shopping Center – certainly the largest mall I’ve ever seen. The top floor alone has a 10-cinema movie complex, a karaoke bar, a bowling alley, and an internet cafe. This is the seventh floor. VIP ticket holders get special treatment in the VIP theatre: huge recliner seats, six per row, allow you to relax in style under the lovely cozy warm blanket to ward away aircon chill. Attendants take your food and drink orders seat-side and deliver everything. They also provide a tasty complimentary pop-like beverage. Mine was blue. I don’t remember a thing about the latest 007 – I was either sleeping or just blissed out.

5. Eat Everything

   Food is everywhere, and it is all so good. Fresh fruit, shakes, green papaya salad, delicious pad thai or – the very best thing ever – the banana pancakes, are readily available on every street corner. Condensed milk is a popular condiment here, and calories be damned, it’s worth every bite.