Daily Archives: December 25, 2008

“MAC..DON…ALDS” I repeat, slowly, miming the familiar arches with my fingers.  Sunny, our tuk-tuk driver, is completely befuddled.  “It’s an American restaurant? Hamburgers?” I say hopefully. Sunny really wants to help us.  He offers to take us to a street that has American restaurants.  We finally admit to ourselves that this is probably as close as it gets.  After several loooooong days of bus travel, and a few days in remote, beautifully laid back  Si Phan Don (“Four Thousand Islands”) at the Laos/Cambodia border, we had hoped for some familiar comfort food.  Especially after we’d realized that there was no ATMs in Si Phan Don, and we hadn’t brought that much money with us -  leading to some tight budgeting and shared meals of whatever the cheapest thing on offer was – usually rice and vegetables.  Once we’d found some dinner and were reflecting on our day in Phnom Pehn, we agreed that the incredible part of the story wasn’t that there aren’t any Mickey D’s in the capitol city – it was that we had met someone that day, our friendly driver, who had never even HEARD of it before.

While the familiar comforts of home are not as readily available in Phnom Pehn as they are in Bangkok, the people here have an innocence and charm that is truly disarming.  This isn’t a comfortable city. It’s dirty and garbage-strewn in many parts, it feels dodgy almost everywhere at night, and the poverty of the place confronts you continually.  But it’s still one of my favorite spots so far, maybe because it has the greatest mix of interesting sights, maybe because you have to have respect for the people here, who have suffered through so much, but can continue to be kind, open, friendly.  The people here would rather sell you something, or work for you, than beg: can you blame them if they get a little aggressive and hassle you more than you’d like? Can you blame the land mine victims for asking for money at tourist sites, when you know that there are very few other support systems for them, when you know how much more a dollar will buy for them than it will for you? The hardest part about Phenom Pehn is that the people are deeply loveable – and you can’t help them all.

We saw most of the tourists sights on offer here in one day. (I’ll be referring to doing all the sights in one city as quickly as possible as “Phnom Pehnning it” for the rest of my blog, by the way.)  The S21 Prison, where the Khmer Rouge regime carried out brutal atrocities against the Cambodian people, is pretty much the most harrowing thing I hope I ever see, but I can see why it’s essential to keep the museum as a reminder of what we are capable of doing, as a species.  It made the visit to the killing fields outside of town, mass graves where the bodies of the prisoners were dumped, that much more affecting. We were glad to move on to lighter fare in the afternoon, checking out the Royal Palace, with the stunning Silver Pagoda, and the National Museum that contains many of the treasures rescued from the famous Angkor temples, where many statues have been looted or stolen.

We even managed to find a second wind that night and go out on the town with some new-found friends from the UK! A newly-opened restaurant/bar/karaoke club on the bank of the Boeung Kak lake, near our guest house, called “Nick” (yep, just “Nick”) was beautifully set up, with low tables and lounging pillows. They offered movies for travelers to watch; karaoke downstairs; a full cheap dinner and drinks menu; and they were completely empty.  This has been an ongoing phenomenon on our trip: everywhere seems set up for about 50-80% more people than the number that are here. I don’t know if it’s the economic crisis or the disruption of the Bangkok airport, but it always seems like there are fewer tourists than there’s supposed to be, wherever you go; and you can tell the businesses here are starting to feel the pinch.  In any case, we were fawned over and visited by the staff all night, and as we left they even gave us Christmas cards signed from the owner! I couldn’t help but think that this kind of genuine, personal touch is the kind of thing people hope they’ll find in the tourist resorts in Thailand, and usually end up disappointed.  It’s nice to know, if you’re willing to go further afield and put up with a bit of discomfort, it’s still out there waiting for you.

We took an overnight bus, which wasn’t very wise
And the beds were really too short, like some torture you’d devise
When we found upon arrival someone’d rifled through our stuff
We hadn’t slept a wink and so we didn’t call their bluff.

Tired and exhausted, took the first room we could find
To say it was disgusting is being rather kind
From the bugs inside the bathroom to goop dripping down the walls,
To the ‘Hello Kitty’ bedsheets – you would have been appalled.

The only sight in Pakxe is a big cement hotel
Where a prince once kept his harem (t’was a palace, so they tell)
When we’d wandered the whole city, with it’s dusty greyish hue
We went back to our hotel room – ’cause there’s nothing else to do.

You could sail up to the arctic, where it hits sixty below
And be thrown into the water, and pulled down by undertow
You’d sink frozen to the bottom, your complexion pale and waxy
But it wouldn’t be the worst thing – ’cause you wouldn’t be in Pakxe.

I really don’t miss rules.

It takes a trip to foreign territory to make one realize how regulated things have become at home. And while rules ensure safety, respect for people’s rights, yada yada, you have to admit, they can sometimes get in the way of a little thing called “fun”.

If Laos were a country of rules, Vang Viang, about halfway between the capitol city of Vientiane and Luang Prabang (coolest name ever!), would not be allowed to exist. At every turn, very cheap alcoholic drinks are sold alongside mechanisms for drunk people to hurt themselves. You know that part of the night on the town, where something seems like the best idea ever? And then later, in retrospect, you realize that alcohol does in fact impair your judgment, and that the ‘best idea ever’ is, at best, a bad idea, and at worst, dangerous and/or potentially lethal? Vang Viang exists in that blissfully ignorant state between these two points.

Exhibit A: Drunken Yahoos Flying Off a Giant Concrete Slide Into a River of Unknown Depth

Yes, there is a river in Vang Viang, and the ‘in’ backpacker activity there is to rent a tractor tube in town and float down the river. We were a little apprehensive as we’d heard that several people have died in the last few years, combining alcohol and fast-flowing water. What we didn’t realize was that the term ‘fast-flowing water’ was an extreme, extreme exaggeration. The water flows lazily along, at a usual depth of about three feet. What cannot be exaggerated, however, is how incredibly drunk people get. Well, drunk enough to drown in three feet of barely-moving water, apparently. The shenanigans start at the first of many bars along the river, where tubers pull over for a drink or eight, while dancing to the blaring sounds of Micheal Jackson and/or Britney Spears. This bar is between 20 and 30 meters from where the tubes have been put in the water, so you can understand that a drink is required after that kind of athletic activity. You can choose to float another 20 – 30 meters to the next bar, drink, and repeat – or you can choose to stay at one bar, as many “tubers” do, and take a tuk-tuk back into town at sunset. Most choose the bar with the slide pictured above, which also has a rope-swing/bungee hybrid device you can use to launch yourself 30-40 feet into the air over the river.
Yes, the entire thing should be illegal. The copious quantities of alchohol in the ‘bucket drinks’ sold at the many bars around town, usually at less than $2, often two-for-one during happy hour, should be illegal too. But wow, was it fun.

In the end, Jack and I opted to enjoy the amazing scenery by motorbike instead of taking the tube route; we’re sure we got to see more, and remember more, that way. Incredible limestone karst formations loomed above the view of the river off our waterfront deck at the guesthouse; the ride out to some of the many caves in the area was also a heck of a lot of fun. We took the bikes out to the “Blue Lagoon” – a local swimming hole – after some cave exploration to cool off, and chilled out in hammocks at a riverside restaurant. (Incidentally, we found the very best chicken satay EVER!) The mellow vibe of the after-tubing parties at the many beach bars was really cool, as people mingled and danced around bonfires in the dark. So Vang Viang can be fun, even for those not looking to get as inebriated as possible for as little money as possible.

On our bus ride out of town, travelers shared horror stories and compared injuries: someone had seen someone break his nose or dislocate a shoulder; nearly everyone there had massive bruises of some kind. But you know what? They were all smiling.