“You never know what’s going to be around the next corner.”
Michal is right. During our four-hour bike tour of Bangkok, we have found every possible scene around a turn: wai-ing monks at roadside temples, back alleyways that practically pass through grinning Thais’ houses, stray mangy dogs dodging traffic with us on smog-choked streets, murky-watered canals whose placid catfish swell up in writhing mounds at the hint of food, rows of pushcarts selling delicious-smelling food. Then, the most unexpected scene of all: an actual jungle. “This area was once a coconut plantation,” explains Moon, our guide. The noise and smog of the chaotic Bangkok streets is only a few blocks away, but here, butterflies float lazily alongside us as we cycle in peace and quiet on an elevated cement walkway through palm fronds and lush greenery. Could this still be the same city?
A bike tour through Bangkok is like seeing the city in fast-forward, in a city that was already on fast-forward to begin with. My first three days here have been a whirlwind tour, where I’ve quickly adapted to, and even fallen in love with the chaos and diversity. From taking the water-taxi bus down Mae Nam Chao Praya river , to wandering the infamous Patpong streets (only in the daylight when everything’s closed, mom, I swear), to mastering the sky train and bargaining with tuk-tuk drivers, I’ve done it all. Three days in and I am showing other tourists how to get around. So allow me to present:
Polly’s Guide to Enjoying Bangkok.
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Accept That You Will Get Ripped Off by a Cab Driver
Do it quick, your first day there if possible, as I did, and get it over with. This way, when you agree to a $6 fare for a $3 ride at the outset, and the cabbie surprisingly has no change for your smallest bill worth $12 when you arrive, you will smile and think, “Well-played, my capitalist friend!”, take your nine dollar life lesson, and get on with enjoying your day. You will always find change before hailing a cab from now on. It’s just a lot more fun that fighting with someone for half and hour and letting nine dollars ruin your day.
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Take Advice from the Thai People. Or Don’t.
Thai people are always giving us farang advice. Some of the time, these are honest attempts to tell you something they think you would like to know, based on the fact that you are obviously a tourist and in the vicinity of something of interest to tourists (“the temple is back that way!”). Other times, these are honest attempts to bamboozle you, possibly for profit and possibly not (“the temple is back that way!”). I have found it is easiest to smile gently, nod your head in thanks for the advice, and continue doing what you were going to do originally until you can duck in somewhere private to check your map. Pretending not to understand English also works.
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Soak Up the Backpacker Vibe at Khao San Road; Stay on Soi Rambutri
Khao San Road is famous for a reason. There is nothing quite like the tingling, patchouli-scented energy of the backpacker mecca. It’s part street-market, where everything a backpacker could possibly want is on offer, and part western oasis, with English street signs and American coffee chains (with American prices – the cost of a Starbucks coffee is the same as two meals from the street food vendors.) Grab a mango smoothie and wander, listening to the mix of world languages as other tourists mingle around you.
Nearby, Soi Rambutri offers a laid-back, leafy respite from the haggling and late-night party noise of Khao San, with lots more restaurants, guesthouses and cheap massage parlors, internet cafes, tailors and foodcarts. It’s relaxing here after a day battling the city and the smog; everything is readily available. It’s one of the places that reminds you that traveling can be easy as well as fun. -
Escape the Backpacker Vibe with a Little Luxury
Ready to escape the roadside curries and aggressive tuk-tuk drivers? Splurge out on what would be standard fare at home – brunch and a movie. The Hotel Oriental consistently ranks as one of the top 10 hotels in the world in many travel magazines, and with a host of literary alumni who have stayed here, a night at this hotel is reputed to cure writer’s block. Brunch indoors or out, looking over the river, and experience some of the best service you can imagine. It’s actually a joy to watch the waiters; I’ve never seen anything like it.
Then, treat yourself right and pay a little extra to see a VIP movie at the MBK Shopping Center – certainly the largest mall I’ve ever seen. The top floor alone has a 10-cinema movie complex, a karaoke bar, a bowling alley, and an internet cafe. This is the seventh floor. VIP ticket holders get special treatment in the VIP theatre: huge recliner seats, six per row, allow you to relax in style under the lovely cozy warm blanket to ward away aircon chill. Attendants take your food and drink orders seat-side and deliver everything. They also provide a tasty complimentary pop-like beverage. Mine was blue. I don’t remember a thing about the latest 007 – I was either sleeping or just blissed out.
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Eat Everything
Food is everywhere, and it is all so good. Fresh fruit, shakes, green papaya salad, delicious pad thai or – the very best thing ever – the banana pancakes, are readily available on every street corner. Condensed milk is a popular condiment here, and calories be damned, it’s worth every bite.
